alright, so it has been awhile

This is the first night that I got off after midnight. It was about 1:45 am by the time I got to clock out, and 2:30 before I got back to my apartment. Now, it's nearly 3 am and I am not at all sleepy. Must be magic...

I do realize I have a lot to update about... So much has happened since my Traditions class! I have wanted to write, and postponed it... and then not wanted to write, because I didn't feel like it... and on and on.

Anyway—my job is a hard one. I think everyone that is working here would tell you that their job is the hardest, or the most pressured, or the worst to have, etc. It reminds me every time about how often we feel entitled to things today, and how quickly we rule out jobs for ourselves because we are "too good" for them. I know that there are jobs out there that I would love to do... but I am also realizing that all too often, we have to start over completely in order to convince people of our usefulness. If I could walk around telling everyone what I am good at, and have them trust my every word, I would have nothing to prove... nothing to earn. And, I suppose, as hard and painful work as it is sometimes, I am part of a team. And while I already know how to BE part of a team, I'm proving that I can. I'm also going to prove that I won't quit when I start something, that I'll do what is asked of me and be dependable, and that I'll smile through things that may be uncomfortable, boring, or even painful. (Being on my feet for so long every day is teaching me a lesson in endurance as well!)

And one day, I hope and pray with all my heart... I'll get the chance to prove that I can be a part of a team that doesn't just excel at guest service—but a team that is imaginative, that brainstorms and creates... I'll be able to prove that I can contribute well to an environment like that, to a group of like-minded people, and be part of creating the happiness and entertainment that this company is all about.

As far as how everything is really going, logistically, I suppose... things are good. My feet hurt, but I try to remember how insignificant that pain is in the scheme of things. I should hold my tongue, for I am grateful for so many blessings, and the opportunity I have to be here. (Eventually, I'll know what to do with it, for real!) My roommates are great, and I love being with them and coming home to my apartment. That, in itself, is one of the greatest blessings I know I have. We have done many, many fun things on our time off that I will try to share when I can. And those days off help make all the hard work worth it.

I'm still reading Walt's biography... and will probably reread it as soon as I finish. There are times during the day when I'm just standing around, feeling like I'm wasting my time, or sweating as I shovel ice into coolers, or losing my mind while I try to count how many grapes go with which kid's meal and whether or not everything made it to the tray while making small talk with guests at the counter... and I really want to roll my eyes or grimace as my feet throb... I wonder if my manager knows someone that might be able to help me in my career, or if the dad I'm handing food to might be my next boss, or if someone who could help me out is watching how I talk to guests. And then I think to myself, "If Walt could walk in right now (as he did so many times at Disneyland), would he be happy with the job I am doing?"

Sure, call it corny, whatever you want. But I want the answer to be yes.